Mercury Retrograde and Talking Heads: Two Great Tastes that Taste Great Together.

Hello Everyone

It has been a minute. Like so many of us, I have had a lot going on over the past few months. There was a whole lot of change in the air. Some of which I was ready for, some not so much. There was an array of shifts, a lot of bobbing and weaving. Thank goodness! I had my best friend with me. That best friend is music. Who once again provided me with the perfect tracks to add to the ‘ My Life’s Soundtrack,” which is always playing in the background and navigating me through it all.

The changes that were occurring led me down a path of introspection. Which change often does for me now. Introspection has happily replaced what was once my crippling anxiety with minimal doses of it from time to time. Oh, how we love anxiety. Right? 🥴 The multitude of thoughts that come racing in, one on top of another, setting up camp in our minds, where they will live rent-free and mooch off our energy. Until we decide, its presence is no longer welcome. If you know, you know. Welcome! This blog is for you.

As I have mentioned here before, for me, music is life. It brings me all the feels: happiness, sadness, romance, empowerment, nostalgia, fun, just to name a few. It is where I find my solitude, often my sanity, and, oddly enough, many times where I discover the answers to those once seemingly tricky questions. Through every series of lessons, the works of particular artists speak loudly to me. I no longer consider this occurrence odd but rather a rule of passage. Talking Heads would provide me with some lyrical guidance for this growing space in my life.

This all began with the news of an unexpected move. You gotta love it when landlords drop that on you. Now, whatever free time was being set aside for a life outside work. That time was now dedicated to looking at rentals online, inevitably dropping me down into the Zillow rabbit hole. The one we have all traveled down. You know, where you scroll through all the big, beautiful, picturesque homes. The ones that, if they could, would come to life and laugh at your budget hauntingly (just like in all the old creepy cartoons). Nevertheless, it seems to provide us with the exact amount of dopamine that brings us sheer moments of happiness. As we imagine ourselves living in them. 

Next,  I had the never-ending back-and-forth texting with potential landlords, followed by the ultimate joy of packing, which is always so much fun, said no one, ever. I thought a promising way to get through it all would be to start watching season 3 of “The Bear” while I packed, which was the worst idea ever. Episode 8, “Ice Chips,” Trigger Warnings Everywhere! That should have been the title of that episode. It had me sitting dead center in a puddle of tears and boxes. It was a mess. I was a mess. I took a moment to pull it together. I then called one of my friends. His name is George George Glass. If you were a Brady Bunch fan, you caught that reference immediately. 😂 That is not his actual name. But in this blog, George stood the possibility of lightening my mood and maybe even giving me some good advice. Both options were welcome. Plus, he had some exciting stuff going on in his career that I was really enjoying hearing about.

I told him what “The Bear” did to me. I tried to explain to him why it had me ugly crying all over my tape gun and boxes. My mom had messaged me a couple of days prior. We had not spoken in a year and a half. I had to make some painfully difficult decisions regarding her and I. It took me a very long time to make those decisions. But I finally decided that my peace mattered. I bet you don't know what happened next. George had lost his job with a company he had invested many years with. There was no notice, no decent explanation. He was devastated, and it was all-consuming for him. While talking with me, he accidentally dropped his phone in his sink, filled with water. This seemed appropriate given the trajectory of our lives at that moment. So, there we were—two people having a human experience, trying to figure out how to navigate our way through it.

Needless to say, George was unable to lighten my mood. I decided to call it a night and just go to bed. Now, just because I could not get through watching another episode of “The Bear” that night, it did not mean I could not lull myself to sleep with the soundtrack. I hopped on Spotify and popped my earbuds in. We have arrived at the part of this blog where this information may be significant. I love Talking Heads. I have been a fan of their music since I was eight. I do believe David Byrne is a lyrical genius. This soundtrack is loaded with Talking Heads. As I lay down, I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind while I listened to “One Fine Day.” The lyrics resonated so perfectly. I think that was all I needed at that moment. George called me the following day after his phone dried. We talked for a long time like we always do. Did we solve each other's problems? We sure didn’t. But we listened to each other. We both felt heard. I think that is all we needed at that moment. A reminder that we all struggle at different times. Those struggles look different for everyone.

It was moving time. I am going to do this “Juno” style. It started with a chair. It ended something like this. A fiat packed to the rim with my belongings. It is a balmy 98 degrees with some ridiculous heat index due to the swamp-like humidity. There I am, making a right turn at a busy intersection as my car decides to slowly but surely stop. It was the fourth and last day of this move. I could not believe this was happening. As I sat at the intersection, I prayed my car would start back up; I followed that up by dropping some quiet, desperate, and heartfelt f-bombs. My car miraculously came back to life. However, the AC did not. Wait, it gets better.

Suddenly, my car started making every horrible sound you could imagine a car making. It screeched. It rattled. It sounded like the engine was about to drop out of my vehicle. My radio still worked, though. I know this because “Road to Nowhere” by Taking Heads started playing. Weird, right? I rolled my windows down and blared that song. I sort of had to. The noises from my car and the outside made it hard to hear the music. Hmmm.. I spot a possible metaphor for life. Do you see how the universe does its thing? While it feels like your world is slowly falling apart. The universe is planting little seeds of knowledge in exchange for the people, places, and things that may be painfully dropping off from your life, moving on.

I made it home. I knew I would need my car to make one final trip. That trip would be to a car dealership. After ten years and over 100,000 miles, my sweet Fiat was heading to the next chapter of her life. She was the best. The two of us had been through some stuff. Together we drove from shit storms to sunsets. She was the Thelma to my Louise. I was going to miss her. Lots of new changes were happening. It was starting to feel like the end of an era. After careful thought, I came to the conclusion that I was ready for that era to come to an end and for a brand new one to begin.

Now, I wish I could tell you it was nothing but smooth sailing from thereon out. If this were a movie and not a blog, the camera would pan over to a shot of me standing on the beach, looking out into the sunset with a sense of peace and enlightenment. Because I had managed to figure it all out—all the great mysteries of life. Ummm..Yeah, not today. That is not the way life works. The scene that would be far more appropriate would be the final scene in “Heathers.” Veronica, played by Winona Ryder, is standing outside her high school, completely torn up—scrapes and bruises, covered in soot. There was smoke exuding from her hair and a cigarette in her mouth. Which had been lit by the bomb that exploded just a few feet in front of her that JD had strapped on him. Also, we were in Mercury Retrograde. The universe was not through with me.

I am a science geek and a hippie at heart. Who has dove deep into spirituality over the past six years. I said spirituality, not religion. I believe these can be two very different things. Based on what I have just told you about myself, my thoughts on retrogrades, planetary alignments, etc, and their impact on us are real. Everything in this universe consists of energy, that includes humans. We are all connected. Why do you think hospitals are far more busy on full moons in their ER and the Labor and Delivery units? Dogs are known to howl at the moon. Birds may become agitated or disoriented. Lions consume less food on full moonlit nights. Now insert a Mercury Retrograde.

Someone once described it as being similar to when a train speeds past moving cars, making it look like the vehicles are moving backward. Do you feel as if you have been experiencing something similar? Think of those days when you could feel how heavy and all over the place the energy was. It may still be. When Mercury goes into retrograde, it causes a whole range of miscommunication via news, travel, and technology as well. Phone calls are dropping. Text messages and emails are getting lost somewhere in the matrix. Computer systems are crashing; you can’t get your card to swipe. Now you know why. 

For me, it was waking up one morning and feeling completely off. I was exhausted from work, the move, and a car shopping ordeal that ended in the dealership claiming full responsibility for messing up in what can only be described as epic proportions, which will be a whole other blog. I promise. I knew I needed to get out and grab some vitamin D. I drove to Dunkin' Donuts to get an iced coffee and get myself going. Exiting the parking lot, I hit a sharp curb that would puncture the tire on my three-day-old car. I would then wait two hours for a tow truck to take the vehicle and myself to the dealership. I kept thinking, "I should have just stayed home.” When you leave your house on a quest to bring some sunshine into your life, but instead unintentionally kill your tire. You may or may not start feeling a certain way about yourself.

As I sat in my car waiting for the tow truck. I began to cry. I was not angry. I was not sad. I was just tired. Every part of me at that moment felt exhausted. After I let myself cry it out, I felt better. There is something to be said for sweet release. I then let out a quick chuckle. I had decided to ride the wave. I was going to just go with it. I was not going to try to control the outcome. I was putting my faith in the unknown and trusting that all the lessons presented were not here to hurt me. They were just those darn Jedi Master classes I spoke about in one of my other blogs. It ended with a tire. A brand new one, courtesy of the dealership, due to the gigantic mistake they had made that I had mentioned prior. The moment I shifted my mindset, the energy shifted with it. When the car was finished being serviced, I got in it and began driving home. My Spotify was on shuffle. Do you want to guess what song randomly started playing? We, of course, know by now that it was Talking Heads. “And She Was” was the message of the day. 

This current yet ever-evolving mindset would get me through further patchy waters. I lost an uncle who I loved and will miss. We shared a deep love for music. This man, talk about hippie vibes. I almost did, but instead, I did not give up on bugging my management crew about some new ideas that I thought might be something. The ideas were at least worth hearing. It took a while. I began feeling a bit discouraged about it all. But I hung in there. Recently, my ideas for this new project were revisited and approved. I am so excited about doing this. I am a creative. I need to be in spaces where that can flow. Sometimes, we must explore and find ways to create that place in our space. This space will allow me to do what I enjoy: writing, building community, and taking steps to reach people in a positive way. I love that I work for a company that aligns with these goals and allows us to explore different ideas. Corporate America, if you are listening. These things matter.

The world is a mess. Life is challenging for most of us right now. Some days may hit a lot harder than others. Life is not and will never be perfect. But it can be beautiful. That is why it is so important to acknowledge the good stuff. The small steps forward, the wins, and, in my opinion, there is no such thing as a small win. Remember to breathe in and out, deeply and slowly. Throw on some music and just dance. Sing loudly, even if you sound horrible. Who cares? It feels so good. 

I was driving home from work the other night. This time, I had selected the song. I played “This Must Be the Place” by Talking Heads. It was a beautiful night out. There was a peaceful, easy feeling about it. I found myself immediately beginning to smile as I sang along with the lyrics. Later that night, I hopped on Twitter. There is this really sweet college kid that I am friends with on there who is a huge Phish fan. They are exploring a bunch of older bands for the first time. We chat music. They tweeted, “This Must Be the Place” is the best love song ever written.” I agreed. It is all about finding your home. That special place, wherever it happens to be. By the way, I am posting this on the evening of the New Moon, and I did not even plan it that way.